1 首先美好的事物不一定非要成雙結對，舉例說(shuō)吧：世界上最大的鉆石“希望之心”，她就是獨一無(wú)二的。
First of all，great things don’t have to come in pairs. Take the world largest diamond, The hope----there is only one of it.
2 視愛(ài)情為生活奢侈品：有最好，沒(méi)有也能活。若工作計劃與男友約會(huì )沖突，取前者—前者不會(huì )辜負你，且越老越不會(huì )，除非你當三陪。
You should think of love is luxury. It’s great to have it. But you can also live to have it. If it’s a choice between work and going on a date, choose work. It will never betray you, The older you get, the more it is true-----unless you work as a prostitute.
3 簽任何合同之前（特別是那些小字）至少看三遍—最具有挑戰的合同是婚約。
Read any contract at least three times before you sign it. Especially a pre-nuptial agreement.
4 當然要有愛(ài)情—如果女人找男人只為了解決生計問(wèn)題，那么賣(mài)笑是零售，嫁人算批發(fā)。
Of course it has to be for love. If all you are looking for is a source of income, then prostitution is selling yourself retail, while marriage is selling yourself wholesale.
5 只要你還在猶豫是否要和那個(gè)人結婚，那么，先別結。
If you are still hesitating over whether you should marry that man, then don’t.
6 單身女子手袋內必備物品：備用絲襪一雙，穿裙子時(shí)；迷你手電筒一個(gè)，夜歸時(shí)；防身噴霧一瓶，偏僻處單身行動(dòng)時(shí)—最好不要到偏僻處單獨行動(dòng)；或史密斯.韋森M37珍珠柄手槍一把—如果你有持槍證的話(huà)；巧克力或蔬菜餅干一小包，加班時(shí)；好牌子護膚霜及自然色唇膏一盒，任何時(shí)候；錢(qián)包，里面有卡，有錢(qián)，任何時(shí)候。
Essential items for a single woman’s handbag: a spare pair of pantyhose (when you wear a skirt of a dress), a mini flashlight(for when you come home late), a can of pepper spray(for when you are out on your own---try to avoid this if you can), an S&W M37 pistol(only if you have a license),a bar of chocolate or some crackers(for when you have to work late),a good moisturizer and lipstick(always)and a wallet with credit cards and some cash in it(always).
7 為了你的身心健康可養一只狗狗，為了狗狗的身心健康，則不要養—每天被鎖在公寓超過(guò)八小時(shí)，它太孤獨了也會(huì )得抑郁癥。（不過(guò)據說(shuō)，最好的寵物是男人…..）
For your health, you might keep a pet dog, But for the dog’s sake, don’t. A dog will be depressed if it is locked in your apartment for more than eight hours a day. (It is said that men make the best pets.)
8 堅持運動(dòng)，每天吃維生素丸與鈣片。如果你有一小筆閑錢(qián)可以買(mǎi)條迪奧晚禮服也可割個(gè)雙眼皮，我的建議是：都不要。去報名參加武術(shù)瑜伽或跆拳道吧。
Keep exercising and make sure you take vitamins every day. If you have some spare cash you could buy a Dior evening gown or get plastic surgery, but my advice is not to go for either. Go sign up for a martial arts course, or Yuga, or Taekwondo.
9 每月記賬。林黛玉大概是不記賬的，所以很快連燕窩都吃不起了；寶釵則一定會(huì )記，最后成功當上了二奶奶。你看，財富觀(guān)即人生觀(guān)。
Keep track of your income and spending every month. Lin Daiyu probably didn’t do that, and soon she couldn’t afford her bird’s nest soup. Xue Baochai did it and managed to marry Jia Baoyu.
You see, the way you managed your wealth defines your position in life.
10 人越少則冰箱越要大，精神空虛，美食填充；若深夜打開(kāi)冰箱居然已無(wú)龍蝦香檳?mèng)~(yú)子醬，更可鞭策你明朝勤力工作以便早日當上副總裁。
The size of refrigerator is often inversely proportional to the number of people in a household. Because food is used to fill the void in a person’s heart. If you can not find lobster, champagne, or caviar at midnight, you should be motivated to word harder and get promoted to VP as soon as possible.
11 遲到的女人沒(méi)前途。若常常需要早起開(kāi)會(huì )，請備高分貝鬧鐘一個(gè)—睡得深的請備三個(gè)。
Chronically late women have no future. If you often have to get up early for morning meetings, try to get a loud alarm, You should have three if you are a deep sleeper.
12 誰(shuí)說(shuō)的，去酒吧的男人多是找刺激的，去酒吧的女人像是受過(guò)刺激的，所以酒吧里認識的異性就不必留電話(huà)了吧。
It is said that men go to bars for adventure, while women go to bars are often recovering from a shock.. So don’t give your phone number to a guy you’re just met in a bar.
13 若連續六個(gè)月每月置杉超過(guò)十件，考慮買(mǎi)房，伍爾芙曾經(jīng)說(shuō)過(guò)，女人需要每年五百英鎊（考慮到社會(huì )進(jìn)步和通貨膨脹現在至少要漲到五千了）和一間屬于自己的房子（至少三房?jì)蓮d帶露臺若有可能背山面海）。難道你準備下半輩子住在一條波西米亞風(fēng)格的裙子或名牌旅行箱里嗎？
If you have bought more than 10 blouses in each of the past six months, please think about buying a house. Virginia Woolf said that a woman needs 500 pounds a year and a room of her own. Adjusting for inflation and modern living standards, that would be at least 5000 pounds today. The house should have three bedrooms and two living rooms. Surely you don’t want to spend the rest of your life in your Bohemian skirt or your designer luggage.
14 最好不要讓初次約會(huì )的異性知道你的住所；若對方堅持送，那么，到樓下即可—相信我，他不“順便上去喝杯茶”也不會(huì )馬上渴死。
On the first date, it is best not to let the guy know where you live. If he insists on accompanying you home, fine, but say goodbye at the door. Trust me, he won’t die of thirst without having a cup of tea.
15 自己開(kāi)車(chē)。車(chē)子比男人好的地方是：它不會(huì )自己跑掉—當然它有可能被偷，但你可以買(mǎi)保險，甚至連航天飛機都可以買(mǎi)保險了，但男人并不能買(mǎi)保險。
Drive yourself. A car is better than a man since it won’t run away by itself. It might be stolen, but you can buy insurance. A space shuttle can be insured, but not a man.
16 買(mǎi)保險。和一只小小保險柜隔首飾。你知道，過(guò)了二十五歲，就寧可不戴首飾也不要戴假首飾了。
Buy insurance. Buy a small safe for jewelry. And you know, once you pass the age of 25 it’s better to wear no jewelry at all than to wear something fake.
17 如果沒(méi)車(chē)，不要買(mǎi)絲絨、緞面、刺繡、十公分高跟或白色皮鞋。我見(jiàn)過(guò)年輕女孩拖著(zhù)晚禮服式亮紗裙子擠公車(chē)，感覺(jué)太…那個(gè)了。
Unless you own a car, don’t buy velvet, silk, embroidered, 10cm—heeled or white leather shoes. I once witnessed a girl in an evening gown struggling to get on a bus. It was too embarrassing.
18 辦公室備一件厚外套，一柄傘—白素貞若當初自備雨傘，之后就不必永鎮雷峰塔了。
Keep a coat and an umbrella in your office----Bai Suzhen would never have been jailed under the Leifeng Pagoda if she’d had an umbrella with her.
19 友誼是用來(lái)錦上添花的—朋友的恭維就像香水，可以聞，但不要喝。
Friends make a good thing even better. A friend’s flattery is like perfume: it smells good, but you can not drink it.
20 如果不幸你愛(ài)的男子有另一個(gè)女人，無(wú)論是老婆，未婚妻，還是女朋友，請不要動(dòng)念和她“見(jiàn)面談一下”，別犯賤—立刻走人！
If the man you are in love with has another woman, be that a wife, a fiancée, or a girlfriend, never think of meeting her, Don’t be stupid, walk away immediately.
21 永遠永遠不要問(wèn)這個(gè)問(wèn)題：“為什么不愛(ài)我？”
Never ever ask him the question :“Why don’t love me:”
22 永遠永遠不要相信男人這種話(huà)：我會(huì )離婚的；我當時(shí)喝多了；我只想抱抱你；我只把它放在外面….
Never believe a man when he says: I will divorce; I was drunk; I just want a hug; I won’t stick it in….
23 男人對自己的好色就像律師對罪犯：明知有罪，也要辯護….你知道就行啦。
Like a lawyer representing a criminal, a man will defend his libido even when he knows he’s in the wrong. Just be aware of that.
24 人生想通了不過(guò)就是：饑來(lái)餐飯倦來(lái)眠。所以，世界上沒(méi)有任何人任何事會(huì )重要到你過(guò)了半夜十二點(diǎn)還苦苦思索輾轉不睡。
In the end, life comes down to eating when you’re hungry and sleeping when you’re tired. You should not be up worrying at midnight over anyone or anything.
25 每個(gè)女人心中都有一面神奇的魔鏡.它的名字—不，不叫自信，它叫自欺欺人。
Every woman has a magic mirror in her heart. It’s known as---no, not self-confidence, it’s self-deception.
26 也可以去相親，但實(shí)現一定要打聽(tīng)清楚對方的尊姓大名—否則連續三個(gè)周末梳妝打扮齊整，跟著(zhù)不同的紅娘羞答答去見(jiàn)同一個(gè)無(wú)聊男子，那實(shí)在太富有戲劇性了。
It’s okay to go on a blind date set up by your friends or relatives. However you should always ask his name beforehand. Otherwise, you might end up meeting the same boring guy time after time. It would be like something out of a bad movie.
27 名譽(yù)這件事是有的：若沒(méi)有五位數（美金）出場(chǎng)費，不要參加“玫瑰男女”之類(lèi)低級電視節目。
Mind your reputation. Unless you get paid a five-figure fee, don’t participate in a TV-show like “Rosy men and women.”
28 記住，流言造成傷害至少需要兩個(gè)人：你的敵人詆毀你，你的朋友轉告你。
Keep in mind that for rumor to hurt you, at least two people have to be involved. Your enemy creates it and your friends informs you.
29 任何應酬都不要喝多—頭天晚上吐的東西次日早上還要自己收拾，也許會(huì )吐第二次。
Don’t get drunk, no matter what the occasion. If you do, and you throw up, you will have to clean it up by yourself the next morning. That might make you throw up again.
30 添一套健身器材可能不比生一次感冒更貴；抽屜里放好必備藥品，記住急救電話(huà)。
Buying a set of gym equipment might be less expensive than catching the flu. Keep some necessary drugs in your drawers. Remember the emergency number.
31 男人就像避孕藥：沒(méi)有他不安全，有了他又有副作用…人生諸多意外，即使你“真的”沒(méi)男友，床頭備一只安全套也不多余。
A man is like birth control pills: it’s not safe without him, but he causes side effects. Life is full of accidents. Even if you “really” don’t have a boyfriend, it doesn’t hurt to keep a condom at home.
32 聰明女人是快樂(lè )的，只有自以為聰明的才常常煩惱。
Smart women are happy ones. Unhappy ones are those who think they are smart.
33 除了成熟，沒(méi)有什么能治療青春痘。
Growing up is the only cure for acne.
34 想念了三個(gè)月的人還沒(méi)來(lái)…聽(tīng)我的，別想了。
If it’s three months and the man hasn’t turn up yet…listen to me, forget him.
35 工作，賣(mài)力就行了，不必賣(mài)命。
Put effort into your work, but don’t put your life into it.
36 男人送花是因為：一、可以讓你認為他愛(ài)你。二、可以省下真正昂貴的禮物。
Men send flowers because: It makes you feel loved; He won’t have to shell out for a really expensive gift.
37 事業(yè)有成兼會(huì )補衣繡花的女子不只雙倍美麗。所以，學(xué)幾個(gè)拿手菜吧。
A woman with a great career as well as great embroidery skills has more than doubled her beauty. So learn to cook a few gourmet dishes.
38 隨時(shí)享受生活等于延長(cháng)生命—周末即使一個(gè)人也有燉一鍋好湯。
You’ll live longer if you can enjoy life at all times. Make a great soup on the weekend even if you are alone.
39 已結婚的前男友打電話(huà)來(lái)問(wèn)最近好不好----當然好。
When your married ex-boyfriend calls to ask how you have been lately, tell him “great!”
40 過(guò)去，童話(huà)故事是以“在很久很久以前”開(kāi)頭的；現在，童話(huà)故事是以“如果我還沒(méi)有結婚而遇到你”開(kāi)頭的。姑娘，你已經(jīng)過(guò)了聽(tīng)童話(huà)的年齡了。
In the old days, a fairy tale always began with “Once upon a time.” Nowadays, it often starts with “If I weren’t married……”Well, you’re too old for fairy tales.
41 若確有需要，可（在辦公室之外的地方）上網(wǎng)給自己訂購一個(gè)仿真物品，但，注意衛生，防止感染塑膠病毒。
You can go online to order artificial help if necessary. Keep things hygienic and don’t get infected with plastic yeast.
42 和一個(gè)人有親密關(guān)系，等于和歷史上所有與他有親密關(guān)系的人有親密關(guān)系-----同居前請他查體。
Getting intimate with a man means getting intimate with everyone from his past. Ask him to take a health exam before you move in together.
43 嗯，想的時(shí)候，想想再說(shuō)。
If you are in the mood, think twice before saying so.
44 不想的時(shí)候，直接說(shuō)不。
If you are not in the mood, just say no.
45 如Bianca Jagger所說(shuō)：“若沒(méi)有感情，不如去打網(wǎng)球?！?---反正都是出一身汗。
As Bianca Jagger said, “Unless there’s some emotional tie, I’d rather play tennis.” You’ll get sweaty either way.
46 愛(ài)你的工作，不要愛(ài)上你的上司。
Love your work, but don’t fall in love with your boss.
47 不要動(dòng)念做單身媽媽----孩子不需要父親，但你需要：一個(gè)照顧孩子的人，非常需要有人照顧。
Don’t ever think about being a single mom. The baby may not need his dad, but you do. You will very much need someone to take care of you while you are taking care of a baby.
48 不，不，沒(méi)有什么會(huì )比你更愛(ài)你。
No, no, nobody will love you more than yourself.
49 高處不勝寒？別聽(tīng)人胡說(shuō)！人當然要往高處去。
It’s lonely at the top? Nonsense! Of course you should keep moving up on the ladder.
50 其實(shí)，人生即使有伴終歸會(huì )寂寞……不如及早儲蓄金錢(qián)培養興趣，中年之后，環(huán)游世界，種花養魚(yú)。
In fact, you will fell lonesome even with a partner….you should save some money and try to have some hobbies. Be prepared to travel the globe, or raise flowers and fish once you enter middle age.
51 千萬(wàn)不要和那種老是覺(jué)得你有點(diǎn)胖的女孩交朋友。
Never make friends with those girls who think you are a little bit fat.
52 談戀愛(ài)就像打麻將：不認真沒(méi)樂(lè )趣，太認真會(huì )傷心-----培養點(diǎn)游戲精神嘛。
Love is like a game of mahjong: it is no fun if you are not serious at all; take it too seriously and you get hurt. Get into the spirit of the game..
53 不必對新男友坦白情史，如果愛(ài)他，尤其不必。
You don’t have to tell your new boyfriend everything in your past, especially if you love him.
54 切記，與任何人，任何情況下都不要拍攝男歡女愛(ài)之鏡頭----肉麻點(diǎn)的照片都可免則免：也許你某天會(huì )出名哈！
Remember, never agree to be videotaped when you make love. It doesn’t matter with whom or under what circumstances. Better not even take intimate photos. You never know when you might become famous.
55 能用錢(qián)買(mǎi)到的東西都是便宜的------盡早養成自己付賬的習慣。
Anything you can buy with money is cheap. Make a habit of paying the bill yourself.
56 結婚須慎重，但離異也沒(méi)什么好羞愧的，婚姻就像鞋子-----誰(shuí)一輩子就穿一雙鞋？
Be prudent with your marriage. Divorce is not necessarily a shame, however. Marriage is like shoes. Nobody wears only one pair all her life.
57 家具什物沉實(shí)樸素方顯品位，若此生不住凡爾賽宮，莫用仿巴洛克式裝修；若無(wú)工程天才及六個(gè)月搬一次家的嗜好，別買(mǎi)宜家之類(lèi)的需自己動(dòng)手的簡(jiǎn)陋配置----名詞解釋?zhuān)哄N子，一種專(zhuān)門(mén)用來(lái)砸扁手指的工具。
Furniture and fixtures should be simple. Don’t try for the Baroque style. of Versailles. Don’t buy from IKEA unless your ‘re an engineering genius who moves house every six months. P.S.: Definition of hammer: a tool for crushing fingers.
58 女人要會(huì )說(shuō)不-----中年發(fā)跡而離婚的男人求婚，說(shuō)不。
Women should learn to say no. The answer to a marriage proposal from a man who divorced his wife after becoming rich in his middle age is a definite no.
59 說(shuō)不清晰肯定---曾經(jīng)背叛過(guò)你的男人想回頭，說(shuō)不。
Be clear and decisive when you say no. When a man who betrayed you in the past comes back to ask for another chance, say no.
60 不的意思是不----你曾經(jīng)背叛的男人請你回頭，說(shuō)不。
Mean it when you say no. When a man whom you betrayed in the past comes back to ask for another chance, say no.
61情場(chǎng)如戰場(chǎng)，實(shí)在打不過(guò)，那就快點(diǎn)跑---千萬(wàn)不要“一夫當關(guān)，萬(wàn)夫莫開(kāi)”。
Falling in love is like waging war. If you cannot win, retreat as quickly as possible. Don’t fight to the bitter end.
62 你媽媽一定告訴過(guò)你了：回家過(guò)夜，慎交男友。
I’m sure your mom has told you: come home at night, and be careful whom you date.
63 男人很重要：他們最重要的功能是產(chǎn)生精子……但我們現在有了精子銀行。
Men are very important: they can make sperm……h(huán)owever, we have sperm banks now.
64 獨居的好處之一是：你不必在一個(gè)很久以前愛(ài)過(guò)的人的臂彎醒來(lái)；之二，也不必在醒來(lái)去上廁所時(shí)每次都要切記先把馬桶圈放下。
The first advantage of living alone: you don’t have to wake up in the arms of a man you used to love a long time ago. Second, you don’t have to put down the toilet seat each time you use it in the morning.
65 過(guò)分追求時(shí)尚，其實(shí)就是老土。
Being too trendy is out of style.
66 基本上，良好的兩性關(guān)系基于距離、謊言和幻想之上。
In essence, a good relationship is built on distance, falsehoods and illusions.
67 出遠門(mén)帶好電話(huà)，穿雙平底鞋---你知道男人知道：穿平底鞋依然好看的女人，才是真正好看。
When travelling, take your mobile phone and wear flats. You know, men are all aware that a woman who looks good even in flats is really beautiful.
68 無(wú)論蕾絲內衣還是工作報告，簡(jiǎn)潔都是最好。
Simplicity is best, whether it’s a set of lacy underwear of work report.
69 浪漫…..就像一襲美麗的晚禮服，但你不能一天到晚都穿著(zhù)它啊。
Romance is like a beautiful evening gown. It’s really pretty, but you can’t wear it all the time.
70 嫁大款就像搶銀行：收益很大，但后患無(wú)窮。若能不試，還是不試為好。
Marrying a rich man is like robbing a bank. You may profit big, but there are serious consequences. Don’t try it if you don’t have to.
71 多角戀其實(shí)一點(diǎn)也不復雜：你哪個(gè)都不愛(ài)。
Think you’re in love with more than one man? It’s quite simple: you don’t love any of them.
72 女人有改變主意的權利---對一個(gè)錯誤的諾言，你要有勇氣違背它。
Women are entitled to change their minds. Don’t be afraid to break a wrong promise.
73 放心，失戀就像感冒，無(wú)論是否吃藥，半個(gè)月都會(huì )好的。
Don’t worry. Being crossed in love is like catching the flu. You will recover in a couple of weeks whether you take medicine or not.
74 培養些小小的好習慣，比如早睡，比如飯后漱口，比如喝清茶，比如工間操----好習慣如同零錢(qián)罐，每天放一點(diǎn)，年終會(huì )驚喜。
You should get into some good habits, such as going to bed early, rinsing your mouth after each meal, drinking green tea, and taking a break at work to stretch your back. Having a good habit is like putting change into a piggy bank----if you persist in doing it every day, you will always be pleasantly surprised in the end.
75 騎驢找馬特別耽誤找馬----騎自行車(chē)吧。
It’s waste of time to look for a horse while riding a donkey. Just ride a bike.
76 一個(gè)人是否可靠，全看你用什么樣的手段控制他…..但問(wèn)題是，可以完全控制的男人，往往是不值得控制的。
The way you deal with a man determines whether he is reliable or not. The problem is, a man who is completely controllable is not worth controlling.
77 如果每次都分攤付賬，友誼會(huì )長(cháng)久一些。
If you share the bill each time, friendship lasts longer.
78 男人總是向不把他看在眼里的女人獻殷勤----命運也是。
A man always courts the woman who ignores him. Fate does the same.
79 想滿(mǎn)意，自己做----菩薩合掌念菩薩，求人不如求己。
Do it yourself if you don’t want to be disappointed. You will be better off counting on yourself than counting on others.
80 有儲蓄才有尊嚴----學(xué)習理財，即使你的專(zhuān)業(yè)是動(dòng)物考古或天文物理。
Savings make dignity. Learn to manage your money, even if you majored in archeology or astronomy.
81 不要借錢(qián)，若一定要借，借銀行。
Don’t borrow money from anyone. If you really have to, borrow it from a bank.
82 不要借給人錢(qián)，若一定要借，別打算他還：當遣散費好了。
Don’t lend money to anyone. If you really have to , be prepared to kiss it good-bye.
83 別用男朋友的生日做密碼―――常常換，很煩的。
Don’t use his birthday as your password. You may have to change it frequently. It’s a hassle.
84 換男朋友的時(shí)候，記得換防盜門(mén)。
When you change boyfriends, remember to change the locks on your door.
85 有個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的準則：會(huì )讓你等的男人，大抵不愛(ài)你。
A simple rule: a man who keeps you waiting probably does not love you.
86 世界上有三個(gè)秘密是多年以來(lái)人們所不知道的：可口可樂(lè )的配方，英國女王的財富以及好男人到哪里去了。
There are three secrets that remain hidden from the world: the recipe for Coca-Cola, the wealth of the Queen of England, and where all the good men have gone.
87 床頭放一本好書(shū)，而不是袖珍電視…..就是看電視也沒(méi)關(guān)系，至少你不用被迫整夜都看體育臺了。
Keep a good book at your bedside instead of a mini TV. Even a TV is not a problem. At least you won’t be forced to watch the sports channel all night.
88 內衣和床上用品一定要品質(zhì)好的…..男人也是一種床上用品；男人不會(huì )時(shí)時(shí)在，所以熱水袋和電毯子才是生活必需品----另外，你會(huì )很快發(fā)現，一個(gè)人換被罩其實(shí)也不是那么麻煩。
Underwear and bed sheets should be of high quality. A man falls into the same category. He cannot be there for you all the time. So a hot-water bottle and an electric blanket are necessities. Also, you will realize that it is not that difficult to change sheets on your own.
89 每天大笑幾次對身體好。若沒(méi)人給你講笑話(huà)，看迪斯尼動(dòng)畫(huà)。
A few wild laughs every day are good for your health. Watch Disney cartoons if no one tells a joke.
90找一項有興趣的體育運動(dòng)---做愛(ài)不算，堅持。
Find a sport you like and stick with it. Love-making doesn’t count.
91心情失落時(shí)不要淋雨、聽(tīng)慢歌、看悲情電影、泡在浴缸內喝紅酒----叫個(gè)女朋友去購物、旅游、美容、吃大餐。
Don’t walk in the rain, listen to blues, watch sad movies, or sit in the bathtub sipping wine. Call a girlfriend and go shopping, travel. Visit a beauty salon, or have a good meal.
92 兩個(gè)原則：一、不要糾纏干小事；二、任何事都是小事。
Two principles: one, don’t stumble over peanuts; two, everything is peanut.
93 不要常常計算損失----那是保險公司和你對手的事。
Don’t calculate your losses all the time. That’s the job of your insurance company and your opponents.
94 “每個(gè)成功男人的背后都有一個(gè)默默支持的女人“-----記得這句話(huà)嗎？好，現在忘了它。
“Behind every successful man, there stands a quiet woman”----remember this? OK. Now forget it.
95 若你女友的丈夫是律師、醫生、經(jīng)紀人、出版商、電腦高手…..不妨請他來(lái)給自己參考買(mǎi)樓、保健、投資、出書(shū)、裝軟件….但切記每次均邀賢伉儷同往。
If your girlfriend’s husband is a lawyer, doctor, broker, publisher, or computer wiz, you can ask for his advice on buying property, health care, investing, publishing books and fixing your desktop. But always remember to invite his wife along.
96世界上最快的傳播手段倒序排列：報紙，電話(huà)，電視，網(wǎng)絡(luò )，告訴女人。
The world’s most efficient means of communication, in reverse order; newspaper telephones, TVS, the internet, and informing a woman.
97你穿什么，你就是什么---忘掉那些豹紋、鏤空、透紗、尼龍鍛后背帶長(cháng)拉鎖的旗袍和鑲大量水鉆蝴蝶結的裙子吧。
You are what you wear----forget those cheongsams of skirts with complicated crystal ornaments and fancy designs.
98不，不論多昂貴的化妝品，除了清潔防曬保濕都不可能讓你更白，或更年輕，或廣告上常常暗示的那樣：更吸引異性。
No, no matter how much those cosmetics cost, they won’t make you white, younger, or more attractive to the opposite sex-----whatever the commercials say. They’re only good for cleansing and moisturizing.
99如果一定要說(shuō)謊….找支筆記下來(lái)。
When you have to tell a lie, find a pen and write it down.
100若無(wú)心黑手辣殺伐決斷之天才，不要給人做情婦。
Don’t be anyone’s mistress unless you have a gift for ruthlessness.
101永遠不要在想讓你哭的人面前哭。
Never cry in front of anyone who wants to see you doing that.
102女人有左右大腦，男人有左右睪丸。
Women have a left brain and a right brain; men have a left testicle and a right testicle.
103經(jīng)濟條件很重要，但你也知道哪句話(huà)：有翅膀的不一定是天使，他可能是個(gè)鳥(niǎo)人。
Finances are important. However, keep in mind that not all those with wings are angels. Sometimes they’re just birdmen.
104 相信大家的智商----不要試圖裝扮的比你實(shí)際年齡小。
Trust the IQs of people around you. Don’t try to look younger than you actually are.
105時(shí)代不通了，男女都一樣：接保險絲、修馬桶、換輪胎、裝殺毒軟件其實(shí)并不比生孩子更難。
Times have changed for both men and women. It is no more difficult to change fuses, fix the toilet, replace tires, or install anti-virus software than to give birth to babies.
106既然上帝給了你大腦和子宮，你最好兩樣都用上---記得每年做婦科檢查。
God gave you both a brain and a uterus. You’d better be able to use both of them. Remember to see the gynecologist every year.
107任何東西都不能用健康交換。
Nothing can be traded for health.
108重要文件要備份，鑰匙一定要在父母或好友家多存一套。
Make copies of important documents and always keep spare keys at your parents’ or a friende.
109若你的房間越來(lái)越雪白素凈、訪(fǎng)客越來(lái)越少、桌面地板不允許有一絲灰塵、聽(tīng)到孩子的吵鬧會(huì )心煩、每天洗手超過(guò)20次…….去看心理醫生。
You should see a psychiatrist if you find that your room becomes more and more colorless, you have fewer and fewer visitors, you can’t tolerate even a single speck of dust on the table of floor, you get annoyed whenever you hear a kid making noise, or you wash your hands more than twenty times a day.
110即使你真的不喜歡小孩，也不要說(shuō)出來(lái)吧。
Even if you really don’t like kids, don’t say so.
111如果你常常自信的認為勾引任何異性都是件很容易的事，那----恕我直言，你可能有點(diǎn)太容易被勾引了。
If you are generally very confident in your ability to seduce men, please forgive me, but you are probably too easy to seduce.
112嫉妒會(huì )要人命---要是你沒(méi)了命，你就沒(méi)有了你生命中很重要的一部分。
Jealousy can kill you. And if you’ve lost your life, you’ve lost pretty much the most important thing of all……
113工作與生活分開(kāi)比較安全：不要讓私人朋友常到辦公場(chǎng)所找你。
It’s safest to separate your work and private life. Don’t let your personal friends to come to your office too often.
114要是你常常弄不清一個(gè)男人到底是什么意思----讓我告訴你---那就是他對你根本沒(méi)意思。
If you often find yourself wondering what a man really means, then take it from me: to you, he means nothing.
115男人有Windows型，他有很多缺點(diǎn)，但沒(méi)他你就不能活；有EXCEL型，人們說(shuō)他多才多藝，但你只能用他干最基本的事；有E-mail型，他說(shuō)的十句話(huà)有九句是廢話(huà)；有鼠標型，你得又拉又拽他才干活；有服務(wù)器型，你需要他的時(shí)候他多半在忙碌，唉……
Men come in various types. Windows: has many shortcomings, but you cannot live without him. Excel: supposed to be good for many things, yet you can only use him for the simplest ones; E-mail: nine times out of ten what he says is complete nonsense. Mouse: won’t work unless you push him. Server: always busy when you need him……
116愛(ài)不是做愛(ài)---愛(ài)是，想和他一起睡覺(jué)。
Love is not making love---love means wanting to sleep at his side.
117最不可愛(ài)的男人之一就是那種，從不肯在你開(kāi)玩笑和吵嘴時(shí)讓你占上風(fēng)的。
One of the least loveable men is the type who never gives in during jokes or quarrels.
118男人開(kāi)什么車(chē)并不重要，就像----騎白馬的可能不是王子，而是唐僧。
It doesn’t matter what car a man drives. A man on a white horse is not necessarily a prince; he might be the monk Xuanzang.
119愛(ài)情之舟在風(fēng)平浪靜時(shí)可以承載兩個(gè)人，但波濤洶涌時(shí)往往就只能負擔一個(gè)了-----你得學(xué)會(huì )游泳。
Love is boat that can carry two in calm weather. In a storm, it often holds only one. You have to learn to swim.
120以愛(ài)情之名讓一條魚(yú)忘記游泳…..對現代女性而言，《海的女兒》這種童話(huà)居心叵測且嚴重過(guò)時(shí)。
A fish forgetting how to swim in the name of love?....For a modern woman, fairy tales like “Daughter of the Sea” are full of sinister implications and seriously outdated.
121你看，男人從不開(kāi)口向人請教如何才能讓婚姻和事業(yè)兩全其美的問(wèn)題。
Listen, a man never asks for advice on balancing career and family.
122不要愛(ài)上老男人，除非…..他已經(jīng)非常非常老了。
Don’t fall in love with an older man, unless he is really very old.
123女兒就像小棉襖、真絲襯衣、開(kāi)司米毛衫、羽絨背心加外套…..樹(shù)欲靜而風(fēng)不止，若再不開(kāi)始孝敬父母可能就太遲了。
A daughter is like a quilted jacket, a silk shirt, a cashmere sweater, or a down coat. Time flies, so treat your parents well before it’s too late.
124見(jiàn)色忘友說(shuō)的是男人，女人對女人一定要忠誠。
Friendship always takes a back seat to romance. This refers to men. Women should always be loyal to one another.
125矜持如同胸衣，把女人托的高貴，但若故意顯露，則會(huì )流于庸俗。
Dignity is like a bra; it supports a woman and makes her look elegant. However, if she shows it intentionally, she just looks vulgar.
126男人在戲院、酒會(huì )、地鐵上會(huì )把較好的座位留個(gè)女人，在辦公室可不會(huì )。
Men will save the best seats for women in theatres, at parties, or on the subway, but not in the office.
127保持身材之必要：A地球資源緊張，可以少占空間；B被情敵追打時(shí)，逃跑比較快；C 女人在男人心目中的分量，跟浴室磅秤上的成反比。
Why it’s important to stay in shape: A Global resources are shrinking and you can save some space; B You can run faster if chased by a rival in love; C The less you weigh on a scale. The more attractive you are to a man.
128什么是成功的女人？她會(huì )說(shuō)：長(cháng)大還是好的。
What is an accomplished woman? One who says it’s good to be grown up.
129再愛(ài)他，也不必為他去隆胸。
No matter how much you love him, you should not get breast implants for him.
130關(guān)于購物我有兩句話(huà)說(shuō)：一、和挑男人一樣，一見(jiàn)鐘情比左右盤(pán)算其實(shí)要合適得多；二、便宜貨是買(mǎi)不起的。
I have two points to make about shopping: 1 As with men, love at first sight often beats careful selection; 2 You can’t afford to buy cheap goods.
131我不反對你看時(shí)尚雜志，但我反對你看了以后變蠢。
I don’t think it is wrong to read fashion magazines. But it’s wrong to let fashion magazines make you stupid.
132別逼他去當蓋世英雄----肯一邊聊天一邊幫你洗碗鋪床倒垃圾就是了。
Don’t force him to be a hero. As long as he helps you wash the dishes, make the bed and take out the garbage, that is good enough.
133若有機會(huì )上學(xué)，去上學(xué)吧。
If you have a chance., go to school.
134孤獨------至少是件深奧的事，只有思考的人才會(huì )遇到。
Loneliness------at least there’s something profound about it. Only those who think experience loneliness.
135Sophie Tucker說(shuō)：女人從出生到18歲，需要好的家庭；18到35歲，需要好的容貌；35到55歲，需要好的個(gè)性；55歲以后，需要好多鈔票。
Sophie Tucker once said, “From birth to age18, a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, she needs a good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash.
136當然應該癡癡等待那個(gè)對先生的最終出現-----但在漫長(cháng)無(wú)聊的等待中，我也不反對你先和不太對的先生們聊會(huì )兒天。
Of course you should wait patiently for the arrival of Mr. Right. But I don’t object to chatting with Mr. Not
