全國卷I：滿(mǎn)分范文一
滿(mǎn)分文(一)
Dear Peter,
I am writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor.
Since Im quite interested in English, I would like to make an English pen friend to improve my writing. Can you introduce one to me? My ideal pen friend should be of my age, and a boy will be better. A boy who likes traveling and football will be a good candidate.
In my opinion, the guy of my age will share almost the same experiences as me and it is easier to talk to each other. We can share our feelings of traveling and football. If possible, I hope that he likes pets. Hope you can find me an ideal pen friend.Thank you.
Best regards,
Li Hua
名師點(diǎn)評：
本文屬于比較“平”的文章，即穩中求勝。文章沒(méi)有華麗的詞語(yǔ)，但是使用了一些短語(yǔ)和結構，能夠獲得老師的欣賞。首句是個(gè)原因狀語(yǔ)從句。文章也運用了定語(yǔ)從句來(lái)修飾boy，比較好。If possible這個(gè)省略句則表明作者對這類(lèi)狀語(yǔ)從句的熟悉。
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好詞：1. candidate n.候選人2.share with 與…分享
好句：In my opinion, the guy of my age will share almost the same experiences as me and it is easier to talk to each other.在我看來(lái)，像我這樣年齡的男生和我會(huì )有更多的共同語(yǔ)言。
好處：復雜句的組合很好。
滿(mǎn)分文(二)
Dear Peter,
I am writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor.
I have been learning English for two years and I hope to find an English pen friend so that I can get more improvement. Can you help me to find one?
Id like to have a boy, who is of my age and is fond of traveling and sports, to be my pen friend. In my opinion, people of the same age often have something to exchange. Thats why I want him to be of my age. If he likes doggy, that would be better because I can tell him something about my little doggy.Id be very thankful if you can help me. Hope to hear from you!
Best regards,
Li Hua
名師點(diǎn)評：
從整體上來(lái)說(shuō)，本文寫(xiě)得還是符合要求的，內容完整，要點(diǎn)和結構也很齊全。語(yǔ)言的使用不在于華麗的辭藻而在于其一些復雜句子的組織。最值得我們學(xué)習的就是像好詞和好句中列舉的表達法。全文流暢而連貫，適合于模仿。
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好詞1.improvement n 改進(jìn)2.do sb. a favor 幫助某人3. doggy n.小狗
好句1. Id like to have a boy, who is of my age and is fond of traveling and sports, to be my pen friend.我想尋找一個(gè)和我年紀相仿，喜歡旅游、體育的男孩來(lái)做我的筆友。
好處：of my age 年紀相仿；be fond of 喜歡。
2.Thats why I want him to be of my age，這就是為什么我希望筆友跟我年紀相仿的原因。
全國卷II：滿(mǎn)分范文一
【滿(mǎn)分范文】
滿(mǎn)分文(一)
Welcome to Baishan Mountain Hotel!
Baishan Mountain Hotel is now open for business.
500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, it provides singleperson room, of which the price is RMB100 yuan per day and the number is 20, and 15 doubleperson rooms, with a price of RMB 150 yuan per day. It also provides hot water bath service. You can enjoy both Chinese and western food in the restaurant and drink coffee and tea in the cafe. The swimming pool is open for free the whole day. All these services can bring great convenience to you and are very enjoyable. So come to enjoy yourself!
Welcome to book rooms in Baishan Mountain.
名師點(diǎn)評：
本文開(kāi)門(mén)見(jiàn)山，首先點(diǎn)明了主旨。本文最大的特點(diǎn)是應用了很多比較復雜的句式，使文章比較出彩。開(kāi)頭使用了獨立結構交代賓館位置。which引導的非限制性定語(yǔ)從句的使用也很正確?？偟貋?lái)說(shuō)，文章句式精煉，是篇不錯的滿(mǎn)分作文。
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好詞1. provide v.提供2. convenience n.便利
好句All these services can bring great convenience to you and are very enjoyable.
所有這些服務(wù)都會(huì )給你帶來(lái)便利，并且非常的愉快。
好處：bring great convenience，帶來(lái)便利。
滿(mǎn)分文(二) Welcome to Baishan Mountain Hotel! Baishan Mountain Hotel is now open for business. The hotel is located 500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, a very convenient position to go sightseeing in the Baishan Mountain. There are two kinds of rooms for service: singleperson room, 20 in total and RMB 100 yuan per day and doubleperson room, 15 in total and RMB 150 yuan per day. The hot water bath is provided as well. We serve both Chinses and western food in the restaurant as well as coffee and tea in the cafe. All are provided in a short time. The swimming pool, which is open for the whole day, is free for you to come. We accept booking rooms ahead of time. So come and enjoy! 名師點(diǎn)評： 本文敘述比較詳細，使用了比較復雜的句式和短語(yǔ)。首句的伴隨狀語(yǔ)用得很好。在介紹房間類(lèi)型時(shí)，作者使用了簡(jiǎn)短的對比句式，很精煉。作者還使用了定語(yǔ)從句which，同時(shí)在描述酒店的兩種價(jià)格的時(shí)候也很恰當，語(yǔ)句生動(dòng)而不重復。 積累卡片 好詞1. sightseeing n.觀(guān)光旅游2. book v.登記；預訂 好句1. The hotel is located 500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, a very convenient position to go sightseeing in the Baishan Mountain. 賓館在距離白山入口處500米的地方，這對于參觀(guān)白山來(lái)說(shuō)是一個(gè)很方便的位置。 好處：伴隨狀語(yǔ)的使用很到位。 2. The swimming pool, which is open for the whole day, is free for you to come. 游泳池全天免費開(kāi)放。 北京卷：滿(mǎn)分范文一 【滿(mǎn)分范文】 第一節情景作文 滿(mǎn)分文(一) Dear Harry, How are things going? Last Monday, my class held the monitor election, a fierce competition between two students really. First, the two candidates, Liu Dong and Wang Hong, gave their election speeches respectively. Then other students wrote a name of the candidate on paper and put it into a box. The teacher counted the number of pieces of paper voting for the two candidates fairly. Finally, Wang Hong got 28 votes while Liu Dong got 15. So Wang Hong became our monitor. It was an interesting election, isnt it? Hope to hear from you. Best wishes, Li Hua 名師點(diǎn)評： 本文敘述內容完整而翔實(shí)。最突出的優(yōu)點(diǎn)就是結構分明。作者通過(guò)使用了first，then，finally等表示順序的詞語(yǔ)，使文章層次感顯得很強。其次，詞語(yǔ)句式方面，作者也以簡(jiǎn)單句為主，增加了一份簡(jiǎn)練，流暢而自然。 積累卡片 好詞1.respectively ad.各自地2.vote v. 選舉3.election n. 選舉 4. fierce a.激烈的 好句1. Last Monday, my class held the monitor election, a fierce competition between two students really.上周一，我們班舉行了一次班長(cháng)選舉，兩個(gè)候選人競爭激烈。 好處：句式的使用很有特點(diǎn)。 2. Wang Hong got 28 votes while Liu Dong got 15. 王紅得到了28票，而劉東得到了15票。 好處：while的使用很地道，表示并列情形。 滿(mǎn)分文(二) Dear Harry, How are things going? Last Monday, our class held the monitor election. The two candidates gave their speeches first and after that other students put the paper with the name of the ideal monitor into a box. The teacher made a calculation of the number of names voted by other students. At last the result was: Wang Hong got 28 votes while Liu Dong got 15. In that sense, Wang Hong won the election. Id like to know how the monitor election is conducted in your class.Hope to hear from you. Best wishes, Li Hua 名師點(diǎn)評： 本文敘事平穩，內容完整。詞語(yǔ)使用平實(shí)，語(yǔ)法運用恰到好處，以準確的表達拿到比較高的分數。本文按圖敘事，用first, after that, at last連接，結構分明。長(cháng)短句綜合運用，句式富于變化。 積累卡片 好詞1. calculation n.計算2.candidate n.候選人 好句1. The teacher made a calculation of the number of names voted by other students. 老師將其他同學(xué)選出的名字加以匯總。 好處：voted，動(dòng)詞的過(guò)去分詞作狀語(yǔ)。 2. Id like to know how the monitor election is conducted in your class. 我想知道你們班班長(cháng)競選是如何進(jìn)行的。 好處：how引導的從句做賓語(yǔ)。 第二節開(kāi)放作文 There is a bird in the nest in the tree. She is the mother of her four children. Seeing her children flying happily in the sky, she feels very delighted. The four birds will be able to live independently and another circle of life will begin. How wonderful nature is! 名師點(diǎn)評： 本文發(fā)揮想象，設想四只小鳥(niǎo)即將飛離母親的庇護去自己生存，并由此引出生命輪回。文章想象合理，展開(kāi)得很恰當。語(yǔ)言生動(dòng)而形象，作為一篇小作文，不但恰當而且值得學(xué)習。 積累卡片 好詞：1.independently ad.獨立地2. another circle of life生命的新輪回 好句：Seeing her children flying happily in the sky, she feels very delighted. 看到孩子們在空中自由地翱翔，她感到很愉悅。 上海卷：滿(mǎn)分范文 【滿(mǎn)分范文】 Xiao Hong, our monitor and one of my good friends, got a cold last Monday and has been in hospital for three days. We suggested seeing her to show our concern. So yesterday we went to the hospital. Since I have known for long that Xiao Hong is fond of doggy, I bought a very cute doggy toy before going there. On seeing the toy, Xiao Hong couldnt help screaming. She hugged the toy which was so lovely and cute again and again. She was moved because we all came to see her. We expressed our hope that she could recover as soon as possible. I told her that the doggy represented my hope of her recovering and my cherishing of our friendship. I believe she will be well soon and come back to us again! 名師點(diǎn)評： 本文的寫(xiě)作讓我們再一次領(lǐng)略到上海作文的水平。我覺(jué)得其優(yōu)勢主要體現在，其一，用詞準確生動(dòng)，即通過(guò)有難度的詞匯的使用，將作者的意思準確地加以表達；其二，句式的變換和語(yǔ)法的應用，即表達的問(wèn)題。上述二者兼而有之，分數怎能不高？ 積累卡片 好詞：1. concern n.關(guān)心2. screaming a.尖叫的3.hug v.擁抱4.cherish v.珍愛(ài) 好句：1. We suggested seeing her to show our concern. 我們建議去看看她以表示我們對她的關(guān)心。 好處：suggest doing，建議做什么。 2. I told her that the doggy represented my hope of her recovering and my cherishing of our friendship. 我告訴她這個(gè)小狗代表了我希望她康復的愿望和對于我們友誼的珍愛(ài)。 好處：意思表達十分準確。 天津卷：滿(mǎn)分范文一 滿(mǎn)分文(一) How to Protect Our Eyesight As we can see in the picture, nowadays most students wear glasses because they are shortsighted due to high study pressure. With the help of glasses, they can see the blackboard clearly. This phenomenon must be paid attention to. We should reduce the time of reading and when we read, do read in the bright place so as to protect our eyes. Besides, the eye exercises are another way to keep eyes healthy. After school, wed better get more sleep so that the eyes can get more rest. As the saying goes, eyes are the window of our hearts. If you can follow the methods mentioned above, you can surely have a good eyesight. 名校點(diǎn)評： 本文采用三段論的方式，分析圖畫(huà)，提出建議，提出希望，敘述比較詳細。文中用了兩個(gè)伴隨狀語(yǔ)，使得文章非常連貫。這個(gè)獨立結構也很好。此外，作者還是用了比較復雜的句子，We should reduce the...采用復合結構，講出了多個(gè)保護視力的要點(diǎn)。 積累卡片 好詞1. phenomenon n.現象2. so as to 以便 好句1. With the help of glasses, they can see the blackboard clearly. 在眼鏡的輔助之下，他們才能將黑板看得更清楚。 好處：with引導狀語(yǔ)表示伴隨。 2. As the saying goes, eyes are the window of our hearts. 眾所周知的是，眼睛是心靈的窗戶(hù)。 好處：諺語(yǔ)的使用增光添彩。 滿(mǎn)分文(二) How to Protect Our Eyesight Look at the picture and you will find the worrying phenomenon: most students now wear glasses. Because of unhealthy ways of using eyes and high study pressure, students get shortsighted easily. However, we can do something to protect our eyes from getting shortsighted. When reading, make sure you are in the bright place and let your eyes rest every hour. If your eyes are aching,doing some eye exercises can relieve your eye tiredness. It will be good to your eyes to take enough sleep. I believe you can protect your eyes if you follow the tips. Hope every one of you have a clear world! 名師點(diǎn)評： 本文審題準確，要點(diǎn)完整而齊全。從結構來(lái)說(shuō)，首先提出問(wèn)題，其次討論如何及為什么需要解決問(wèn)題。文章長(cháng)短句結合使用，句式變換而流暢。文章用詞地道而成熟，可以稱(chēng)得上是一篇不錯的考場(chǎng)佳作。 積累卡片 好詞1. ache v. 疼痛2. pressure n. 壓力3. relieve v.緩解 好句1. However, we can do something to protect our eyes from getting shortsighted. 然而我們可以采取一些措施來(lái)保護我們的眼睛免于近視。 好處：do something to，采取措施。 2. If your eyes are aching, doing some eye exercise can relieve your eye tiredness. 如果你的眼睛感到疼痛，做眼操可以緩解你的視力疲勞。 好處：動(dòng)名詞作主語(yǔ)引導從句。 重慶卷：滿(mǎn)分范文一 【滿(mǎn)分范文】 滿(mǎn)分文(一) Dear Amy, Im Li Hua from Xinhua Middle School of China. Im sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which brought you great pain. But you should realize that you are young and have a promising great future. So, stand up and fight against the disease! Im sure you will win. It is reported that the America anticancer association will donate three cents upon every comfort letter you receive. So I will tell your situation to all my friends and ask them to write to you. In that way, you will get enough money for you to be cured. Hope you can be well soon. Yours, Li Hua 名師點(diǎn)評： 本文依照要求，涵蓋了所有要點(diǎn)。文章使用了高中常見(jiàn)的句式，如Im sorry to hear that..., It is reported that...等，都比較好。作者對定語(yǔ)從句的使用恰到好處地修飾了文章，行文自然而通順，值得學(xué)習。 積累卡片 好詞1.realize v.意識到2.promise v.允諾3.donate v.捐贈 好句1. Im sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which brings you great pain. 我很遺憾地得知你身患肺癌，給你帶來(lái)了巨大的痛苦。 好處：which引導限制性定語(yǔ)從句。 2. So, stand up and fight against the disease! 因此，堅強地與疾病做斗爭吧！ 好處：擲地有聲，語(yǔ)言準確。 滿(mǎn)分文(二) Dear Amy, My name is Li Hua, a student from Xinhua Middle School in China. I have got to know that you got lung cancer and are in great pain. Sorry to hear that. But since you are young, the disease wont be very serious and you can beat it. It is said that the more letters you receive, the more money the America anticancer association will donate. For every letter, they give three cents. So I will try as hard as possible to persuade my friends to write to you so as to help you get enough money to cure the disease. Im sure you will be OK soon. Yours, Li Hua 名師點(diǎn)評： 文章整體來(lái)說(shuō)一氣呵成，銜接自然。通過(guò)諸如原因狀語(yǔ)從句的使用，使得文章內容飽滿(mǎn)，過(guò)渡自然，較好地使用了諸如but，so之類(lèi)的連詞。文章使用了“the +比較級，the +比較級”的句式，十分出彩。 積累卡片 好詞1. cure v.治愈2. association n.協(xié)會(huì )3.donate v.捐贈 好句1. But since you are young, the disease wont be very serious and you can beat it. 但是因為你還比較年輕，疾病不會(huì )很?chē)乐?，你能夠戰勝它?/font> 好處：since，引導原因狀語(yǔ)從句。 2. It is said that the more letters you receive, the more money the America anticancer association will donate. 據說(shuō)你收到的信越多，美國抗癌組織捐給你的錢(qián)就越多。 江蘇卷：滿(mǎn)分范文一 【滿(mǎn)分范文】 滿(mǎn)分文(一) Good afternoon, everyone, The national student sports program, waged by the Ministry of Education and aimed at improving students health, was held from 10：00am~11:00am on April 29，2007 in many primary and middle schools all over China. Almost 11 million students in Jiangsu province participated in this program. The Ministry of Education advocates that we do exercises for one hour a day and can work healthily for 50 years. Our whole life will be very enjoyable. In my opinion, we senior high school students should do exercises for one hour a day even though our spare time is limited. Health is a basic condition for our study. If we did not do exercises, we wouldnt be able to get good study records. So every one of you, join the program now! Thank you! 名師點(diǎn)評： 積累卡片 好詞1.wage v.發(fā)動(dòng)2.aim v.瞄準3. advocate v.提倡 好句1. The Ministry of Education advocates that we do exercises for one hour a day and can work healthily for 50 years. 教育部提倡我們每天做一個(gè)小時(shí)的運動(dòng)，能夠健康地活50年。 好處：advocate，其后接虛擬語(yǔ)氣，可以省略情態(tài)動(dòng)詞。 2. If we did not do exercises, we wouldnt be able to get good study records. 好處：虛擬語(yǔ)氣 滿(mǎn)分文(二) Good afternoon, everyone, Its my honor to be here to give you a speech. On April 29，2007 the national student sports program was held from 10∶00am~11∶00am in many primary and middle schools all over China. It is the Ministry of Education that promotes this program. In Jiangsu, about 11 milloin students took part in the activity. The theme of this program is “do exercises for one hour per day, work for 50 years healthily and lead a happy life”. In my viewpoint, this is quite good for us senior students. We do exercises one hour a day and we can gain health, which lay a solid foundation for our future. That will be very good. So boys and girls，come and join us now! Thank you! 名師點(diǎn)評： 文章的結構很清楚，內容和要點(diǎn)把握得也比較完整。本文十分符合演講稿的要求，寫(xiě)得比較出色。第一段中用了強調句，指出了發(fā)起項目的主體。作者用并列的方式解釋了主題，十分出色。定語(yǔ)從句也用的很好、很到位。 積累卡片 好詞1. promote v.促進(jìn)2. foundation n.基礎3. gain v.獲得 好句1. It is the Ministry of Education that promotes this program. 是教育部推動(dòng)了這個(gè)計劃。 好處：強調句的使用十分準確。 2. We do exercises one hour a day and we can gain health, which lay a solid foundation for our future. 每天鍛煉一小時(shí)我們的身體就會(huì )很健康，而這也為將來(lái)打下了堅實(shí)的基礎。 好處：lay a solid foundation，為…打下堅實(shí)基礎。 浙江卷：滿(mǎn)分范文一 【滿(mǎn)分范文】 滿(mǎn)分文(一) I prefer my English classes to be taught in both English and Chinese, whose advantage is that it is easy for us to understand what the teacher talks about. The teacher first teaches the class in English, and then she explains those that are hard to understand to us so that we get a better knowing of the passage. That will be good for us. However, teaching the class in two languages will make the English atmosphere not so strong. Some students who wish to be taught in English will be disappointed. Except for the disadvantage, I think it is really good to hear two languages in classes. It can make us more familiar with the foreign culture. 名師點(diǎn)評： 積累卡片 好詞1.advantage n.優(yōu)點(diǎn)2.be familiar with，對某人熟悉3. atmosphere n.氣氛 好句1. I prefer my English classes to be taught in both English and Chinese, whose advantage is that it is easy for us to understand what the teacher talks about. 我更喜歡采用雙語(yǔ)教學(xué)，其優(yōu)點(diǎn)是可以更好地理解老師的話(huà)。 好處：定語(yǔ)從句很好地組織了復雜句，同時(shí)prefer等詞組的使用很地道。 2. Some students who wish to be taught in English will be disappointed. 那些希望英語(yǔ)授課的學(xué)生們可能會(huì )失望了。 好處：定語(yǔ)從句和wish to do的使用。 I prefer my English classes to be taught only in English because it is helpful for us to improve the ability of speaking and listening in a very short time. I have strong interest in English study and foreign culture, so Id like to be totally immersed in the atmosphere of English so that I can quickly make progress. Thats why I prefer total English. However, since we are all English beginners, its really hard to understand all that the teacher says. Sometimes we need Chinese explanation. So my viewpoint is that we are taught not only in English but also using Chinese as a minor way to explain things that are hard to understand. 名師點(diǎn)評： 本文寫(xiě)作十分成功。語(yǔ)言和句式是本文最大的特點(diǎn)。好詞中詞匯的使用，將作者的意思表達得完整而準確，從而映襯了詞匯的重要性；其次，本文的句式以復雜句為主，表語(yǔ)、定語(yǔ)和狀語(yǔ)從句的使用都十分到位。 積累卡片 好詞：1. immerse v.沉浸2. explanation n.解釋3. make progress 取得進(jìn)步 好句：1. I have strong interest in English study and foreign culture, so Id like to be totally immersed in the atmosphere of English so that I can quickly make progress. 我對英語(yǔ)學(xué)習和外國文化有著(zhù)濃厚的興趣，因此我想沉浸在英語(yǔ)的學(xué)習氛圍中，使得我能更快地進(jìn)步。 好處：be immersed in 沉浸其中；so that 表示目的。 2. So my viewpoint is that we are taught not only in English but using Chinese as a minor way to explain things that are hard to understand. 好處：表語(yǔ)從句使用正確。 好處：which引導了非限制性定語(yǔ)從句。 好處：現在分詞作狀語(yǔ)表示伴隨狀態(tài)。
【滿(mǎn)分范文】 好處：the +比較級，表示強調。
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