Despair and the Grotesque
Among the many forms of the grotesque, I find the one whose roots are steeped in despair more unusual and complex. The other forms have less intensity. It is important to note that the grotesque is inconceivable without intensity of feeling. And what intensity is deeper and more organic than despair? The grotesque appears only in very negative states, when great anxiety arises from a lack of life; the grotesque is an exaltation in negativity.
在諸多怪誕之形式中，我發(fā)現一怪誕形式，其根系浸沒(méi)在絕望里，非比尋常，十分復雜。其它怪誕形式均為次級之強度。有必要指出，怪誕非情感之強度不可理解之。然何強度之深刻及實(shí)質(zhì)是有甚于絕望之強度？怪誕僅以非常之消極狀態(tài)出現，當巨大焦慮產(chǎn)生于生活之匱乏之時(shí)；怪誕為一種消極中之雀躍。
There is a mad launch toward negativity in that bestial, agonizing grimace when the shape and lines of the face are contorted into strangely expressive forms, when the look in one's eyes changes with distant light and shadow, and one's thoughts follow the curve of similar distortions.
在非人驚悚之怪相里，有一趨向消極之瘋癲。當面部之輪廓線(xiàn)條均被扭曲成怪異之表情形式，當人之目光為遠處之光影所變形，當人之思想據類(lèi)似之畸線(xiàn)而扭曲。
Truly intense and irrevocable despair cannot be objectified except in grotesque expressions, because the grotesque is the absolute negation of serenity, that state of purity, transparence, and lucidity so different from the chaos and nothingness of despair.
真正強烈且不可救藥之絕望非怪誕形式不可表現，因為怪誕是純粹平和之絕對面， 其純凈、清澈、明凈大不同于絕望之混沌虛無(wú)。
Have you ever had the brutal and amazing satisfaction of looking at yourself in the mirror after countless sleepless nights? Have you suffered the torment of insomnia, when you count the minutes for nights on end, when you feel alone in this world, when your drama seems to be the most important in history and history ceases to have meaning, ceases to exist? When the most terrifying flames grow in you and your existence appears unique and isolated in a world made only for the consummation of your agony?
你可曾在無(wú)數不眠夜后，在看到鏡中自身之非人驚奇而滿(mǎn)足？當你數著(zhù)每一個(gè)瞬間直到夜盡，當你覺(jué)得世上僅存你一人，當你的人生際遇看似為歷史中之最重者，而歷史不再有意義，不再存在，當你的內心中燃起恐怖的熊熊大火，你的存在，在一個(gè)不過(guò)是用來(lái)消磨汝之痛苦的世界，顯得如此獨一無(wú)二，你可曾因此而受失眠之苦？
You must have felt those moments, as countless and infinite as suffering, in order to have a clear picture of the grotesque when you look at yourself in the mirror. It is a picture of total strain, a tense grimace to which is added the demonically seductive pallor of a man who has struggled along horrible, dark precipices.
你一定感受過(guò)這些瞬間，感受到如同恒河沙數，宇宙無(wú)限般的痛苦，由此在你凝視鏡中之自身時(shí)，才能看到一張清晰的怪誕相。這是一張完全擠壓變形的相，一張緊繃扭曲的怪相，略帶幾分魔鬼般誘人的蒼白，它是一個(gè)獨自在恐怖黑暗懸崖上掙扎的男人的相。
Isn't this grotesque expression of despair similar to a precipice? It has something of the abysmal maelstrom of great depths, the seduction of the all encompassing infinite to which we bow as we bow to fatality.
此種絕望之怪誕表達，難道不似于一懸崖峭壁？其蘊含著(zhù)不測深淵之漩渦，包羅無(wú)限之誘惑。我們俯首這種誘惑，如同我們俯首宿命。
How good it would be if one could die by throwing oneself into an infinite void!
如一人能死于將自身拋入一無(wú)限空虛之中，那真是好??！
The complexity of the grotesque born out of despair resides in its capacity to indicate an inner infinity and to produce a paroxysm of the highest tension.
源自絕望之怪誕，其復雜性在于，其可指向一種內心無(wú)限，其可產(chǎn)生一種最高強度的情感極點(diǎn)。
How could this intense agony manifest itself in pleasant linear curves and formal purity?
此種強烈痛苦何能以愉悅之維度及常規之純度來(lái)宣示自身呢？
The grotesque essentially negates the classic, as well as any idea of style, harmony, and perfection.
怪誕從根本上反傳統，也反一切風(fēng)格、和諧及完善之理念。
It is evident to anyone who understands the multiple forms of inner drama that the grotesque hides secret tragedies, indirectly expressed.
顯然在那些領(lǐng)悟到內心戲劇之多重形式的人看來(lái)，怪誕藏有隱秘的悲劇，不能直接被表達的悲劇。
Whoever has seen his face grotesquely disfigured can never forget it, because he will always be afraid of himself.
無(wú)論誰(shuí)在眼見(jiàn)自己被扭曲毀損之面容后，便會(huì )永無(wú)法忘卻之，因他將永遠恐懼自己。
Despair is followed by painful anxiety.
絕望之后是痛苦之焦慮。
What else does the grotesque do if it does not actualize fear and anxiety?
若怪誕不用來(lái)體現恐懼和焦慮，其何用之？
