Research on what makes a marriage work shows that people in a good marriage have completed these psychological "tasks":
關(guān)于“是什么使婚姻美滿(mǎn)”的研究表明，那些擁有幸?；橐龅娜藗兺呀?jīng)完成了這些心理“任務(wù)”。
1. Separate emotionally from the family you grew up in; not to the point of estrangement, but enough so that your identity is separate from that of your parents and siblings.
在感情上與你成長(cháng)的家庭分開(kāi)；不要到產(chǎn)生隔閡的地步，但要足以使你的身份獨立于你的父母和兄弟姐妹。
2. Build togetherness based on a shared intimacy and identity, while at the same time set boundaries to protect each partner's autonomy.
在相互的親昵和一致的基礎上建立歸屬感，但同時(shí)也要設定一些界限來(lái)保障每一個(gè)成員的自主權。
3. Establish a rich and pleasurable sexual relationship and protect it from the intrusions of the workplace and family obligations.
建立一種豐富而又愉快的性關(guān)系，并保護其免受繁雜工作和家庭義務(wù)的干擾。
4. For couples with children, embrace the daunting roles of parenthood and absorb the impact of a baby's entrance into the marriage. Learn to continue the work of protecting the privacy of you and your spouse as a couple.更多信息請訪(fǎng)問(wèn)：http://www.24en.com/
對于有孩子的夫妻，坦然地接受父母這樣的嚴峻角色，消化掉因寶寶的出現而對婚姻生活造成的影響。夫妻雙方還要學(xué)會(huì )繼續保護自己和配偶的隱私。
5. Confront and master the inevitable crises of life.
共同面對和掌控生活中不可避免的危機。
6. Maintain the strength of the marital bond in the face of adversity. The marriage should be a safe haven in which partners are able to express their differences, anger and conflict.
在面對逆境時(shí)保持婚姻關(guān)系的穩定?；橐鰬斒且粋€(gè)安全的港灣，在這里夫妻之間可以表達他們的不同觀(guān)點(diǎn)、忿怒和沖突。
7. Use humor and laughter to keep things in perspective and to avoid boredom and isolation.
通過(guò)幽默和笑聲來(lái)對待事情，避免厭倦和孤立。
8. Nurture and comfort each other, satisfying each partnerís needs for dependency and offering continuing encouragement and support.
扶持和安慰彼此，滿(mǎn)足彼此依戀的需求，并提供持續性的鼓勵和支持。
9. Keep alive the early romantic, idealized images of falling in love, while facing the sober realities of the changes wrought by time.
隨著(zhù)時(shí)間的流逝，即使面對理性的現實(shí)，也要保持年輕時(shí)候一顆浪漫的心和墜入愛(ài)河時(shí)美好的憧憬。
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