Photo credit: confidence, comely. (CC BY-NC 2.0)
The holidays are an excellent opportunity to socialize, make friends, have fun with others and be grateful for the people in your life.
假期對進(jìn)行社交活動(dòng)，認識朋友，與他人一起找樂(lè )子并且感恩你生命中的每個(gè)人來(lái)說(shuō)，是個(gè)非常不錯的機會(huì )。
But if you’re somewhat on the shy side and you have trouble opening up during social interactions, holidays can be a pain in the neck, because you know others socialize and enjoy themselves while you’re missing out on all the fun.
但如果你稍微有些害羞且在社交互動(dòng)中難以放開(kāi)手腳，那么假期對你將是一件苦惱的事情。因為你知道大伙都在社交活動(dòng)并且享受樂(lè )趣，而你自己卻與這些樂(lè )趣沾不上邊。
Well, this year is going to be different.
那么好吧，今年將與往年大不相同。
As a social confidence coach, helping others overcome their shyness and be more outgoing is the core of my job description. I want to share with you 7 great ways to be more social during the upcoming holiday season.
作為一個(gè)培養社交自信的教練，幫助他人克服害羞并變得更加開(kāi)朗是我工作的核心內容。在即將到來(lái)的假日季節，我將同你分享7種相當不錯的方法，令你更加社交化。
Forget about spending Christmas Eve watching a movie alone or the holiday vacation reading a 1200-page book. The first key step to enjoying meaningful interactions during the holidays is to get involved in social activities instead of avoiding them. Any social activity you can find, try to attend. Family dinner, corporate party, friends gathering, drinking night, holiday trip — anything goes.
不要老想著(zhù)平安夜獨自看電影或假日讀一本1200頁(yè)厚的書(shū)。在假期里你要享受有意義的互動(dòng)，第一個(gè)關(guān)鍵步驟是要融入到社交活動(dòng)中去而不是拒絕。要嘗試加入任何你能發(fā)現的社交活動(dòng)。例如家庭聚餐，公司派對，朋友聚會(huì )，狂歡酒會(huì )夜，假日旅游等等。
Even if it may not sound appealing at first — or just the thought of attending it makes you feel nervous — you will typically discover it’s a lot more fun once you actually go to it.
即使一開(kāi)始聽(tīng)起來(lái)沒(méi)有那么吸引人——又或僅僅是參加的想法就令你緊張——沒(méi)關(guān)系，一旦你真的做下去，你就會(huì )特別發(fā)現原來(lái)這是非常有趣的事情。
There is no need to wait for others to organize some social activity and invite you, too. Take the initiative, arrange your own social events, and invite others to attend.
沒(méi)必要等待別人組織社交活動(dòng)來(lái)邀請你。要主動(dòng)安排自己的社交活動(dòng)，然后邀請他人來(lái)參加。
Throw a pre-Christmas party or a post-New Year’s Eve party to finish all the leftovers. Organize a poker night or a simple get together with old friends. There are plenty of things you can do. And when you’re the host or the initiator of a certain social activity, since you’re on your ‘turf’, it’s easier to feel confident and be more social.
辦一個(gè)圣誕節前或新年前夕過(guò)后的派對來(lái)消磨剩余的時(shí)間。組織一次撲克牌之夜或簡(jiǎn)單的老朋友聚會(huì )。你有大把事情可以做，而且當你成為某些社交活動(dòng)的主辦者或發(fā)起者，因為這是在你自己的“地盤(pán)”上，你會(huì )很容易感到自信并更加交際化。
All people love to receive gifts; it’s not just children that do at this time of year. Getting gifts makes them feel appreciated. This is why gifts are a good way to elicit people’s goodwill, and the holidays are the perfect occasion to bear gifts.
每年這個(gè)時(shí)候，人人都喜歡收到禮物，不僅只是小孩子。收到禮物令人們感到被重視。這就是禮物是一個(gè)不錯的方法來(lái)引起人們友好的原因，也是假期為什么是能夠把禮品銷(xiāo)售一空的最佳時(shí)機的原因。
So when you visit or meet someone, take a little time to buy them a nice little holiday present. It doesn’t have to be something expensive — just something interesting. Remember: it’s the gesture that matters the most.
因此當你拜訪(fǎng)某人或與某人見(jiàn)面的時(shí)候，花少許時(shí)間買(mǎi)份精致的假日小禮物送給他們。不用買(mǎi)貴的東西，只要有趣的就行了。記住，禮輕情義重。
People who are shy or reserved are archetypal “risk avoiders” in social settings. They don’t want to say anything improper, be rude or embarrass themselves. Consequently, they avoid speaking their mind and being authentic in social interactions.
害羞或矜持的人在社交事務(wù)中是典型的“冒險回避者”。他們不敢說(shuō)不恰當的話(huà)，不禮貌或令自己尷尬。相反地，他們在社交互動(dòng)中拒絕說(shuō)出他們的想法和表露真情。
If this is your case, this is a terrific moment to start taking more risks when interacting with others. Speak your mind, open up and be as spontaneous as you can. If others like you, fine. If they don’t, don’t worry — nobody has ever died because of it.
如果你是這種情況，這么當你與他人互動(dòng)時(shí)是開(kāi)始多冒險的絕佳時(shí)機。說(shuō)出你的心里話(huà)，放開(kāi)自己并盡可能是發(fā)自本能的。如果別人喜歡你，很好。如果不，別擔心——沒(méi)有人會(huì )因此而活不下去。
If you have a hard time starting conversations with people at parties or other social events, the best advice I can offer you is to look for the people who seem the friendliest in the room and start by talking with them.
假使你在派對或者社交活動(dòng)中很難與人開(kāi)口談話(huà)，我最好的建議是找到屋子里看起來(lái)最友好的人并開(kāi)始與其交談。
The fact they are gregarious and positive heartens you to be the same. It boosts your self-assurance and, eventually, you will also feel confident enough to talk with other persons as well.
事實(shí)上他們是愛(ài)交際的人并且會(huì )積極鼓勵你變成和他們一樣。這提高了你的自信，且最終你也感到有足夠的信心和其他人一樣交談。
During the holidays, one of the best topics to talk about is the holidays. People are generally in the moment, enjoying the festivities, and they like to share them with others.
假期期間，最好的談話(huà)主題之一就是假期本身。在這個(gè)時(shí)刻，人們一般都在享受節日帶來(lái)的快樂(lè )，因此他們樂(lè )于與他人分享這個(gè)話(huà)題。
During conversation, ask people how they’ve spent the holidays so far, what their plans for the next few days are, what they’re doing for New Year’s Eve, what presents they got for Christmas and so on. There is an abundance of things to talk about regarding the holidays — so go for it.
交談的時(shí)候，詢(xún)問(wèn)人們到目前為止他們怎么度假，如未來(lái)幾天有什么計劃，為慶祝新年前夕正在準備什么，圣誕日收到什么禮物等等。關(guān)于假期有非常豐富的事情可以講，所以要把它提出來(lái)大家一起討論。
A good conversation is a two-way street. It’s important to be a good listener and encourage the other person to talk and open up, but you also want to talk and open up yourself.
一次愉快的談話(huà)是雙向的。做一個(gè)優(yōu)秀的聆聽(tīng)者并鼓勵其他人暢所欲言是非常重要的，但你自己也必需要暢談起來(lái)。
For many people, this can be an issue. They tend to feel uncomfortable with disclosing themselves. There is only one method to overcome this, and that is to deliberately disclose yourself more, despite the aversion you have. As you get used to it, it gets a lot easier.
對于許多人來(lái)講，這是可能是問(wèn)題。他們對開(kāi)放自己將會(huì )感到很不舒服。但只有一個(gè)方法能夠克服這個(gè)問(wèn)題，那就是不管自己的看法，更多有意地開(kāi)放自己。當你習慣了它，那么它會(huì )變得非常容易。
As you open up and become more social, and start letting go of the need to have the approval of others, you’ll find yourself having a lot of fun during social interactions and fully enjoying the holidays.
當你開(kāi)放自己變得更加喜好交際，并且開(kāi)始對需要別人的認可變得釋?xiě)褧r(shí)，你將發(fā)現自己從社交互動(dòng)中收獲許多樂(lè )趣且完完全全地享受假期帶來(lái)的快樂(lè )。
On that note, I wish you the best — and most social — holidays you’ve ever had.
在此，謹祝你度過(guò)一個(gè)未曾有過(guò)的最美妙和最交際化的假期。
Eduard Ezeanu is a social confidence coach. He teaches others how to overcome shyness, as well as how to be more social, and helps them build fulfilling relationships with others. He also writes on his blog, People Skills Decoded.
愛(ài)德華*伊茲恩紐是位培養社交自信教練。他教導人們如何克服害羞心理以及如何變得更加交際化，并且幫助他們與其他人建立令人愉快的關(guān)系。他的博客上還寫(xiě)有：《人類(lèi)技能解碼》。
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