如果你不能控制負面情緒，將會(huì )被其所控制！我們經(jīng)常會(huì )聽(tīng)到情商這個(gè)詞，那么它到底指什么呢？我們能否擺脫負面情緒的控制？現在我們帶你深入了解你的情緒。
What is Emotional Intelligence?
什么是情商？
我們所向往的生活是能夠時(shí)刻感受到積極的情緒。我們內心所感受到的就是情緒。情緒也會(huì )驅使我們去做一些重要的事情，比如說(shuō)向我們所愛(ài)的人表白。
When we want to improve our lives, we want to live with positive emotions. All we feel is emotions. These are also emotions that drive us to do important things, like confess our love to our beloved.
In his book emotional Intelligence, published in 1995, American psychologist Daniel Goleman popularized the idea that our emotions play an important role in our well-being and our relationships. We define emotional intelligence as the ability to interact with each other on an emotional level. It is being linked to the knowledge of our own emotions and the ability to recognize and gain access to the emotions of others.
在美國心理學(xué)家Daniel Goleman1995年出版的《情商》一書(shū)中，他提出情緒對于我們的幸福與人際關(guān)系都有著(zhù)很重要的作用。因此，我們將情商定義為能夠在情緒層面與人交流的能力。它包括對自身情緒的認知以及對他人情緒的認識和理解能力。
The intelligence of emotions plays an important role in our lives. If a person at work is extremely competent in his job, but nobody wants to work with her because she is unable to interact with others, there is a risk of problems and conflicts in the office.
情商在我們的日常生活中非常重要。如果一個(gè)人雖然在工作上很有能力，但卻因為她不能和其它人交流，沒(méi)有人愿意和其一起工作，那么在辦公室里就會(huì )出現諸多問(wèn)題和矛盾。
Our Emotions Speak to Us
情緒告訴我們的
What can we do to feel our emotions more and enjoy better relationships with others? By learning about our emotions. All our emotions are designed to give us one great message: Prepare yourself for something. But the message of course, has some subtleties!
那么我們怎么才能更好的感受到我們的情緒，并與他人良好相處呢？方法只有一個(gè)——通過(guò)學(xué)習情緒。情緒無(wú)一例外的傳達給我們一個(gè)重要信息：要準備做些什么了。但是，這個(gè)信息卻非常微妙。
For example, fear suggests you just prepare yourself for what may happen to be negative. So if you are afraid to fail an activity, fear will suggest you to better prepare yourself to succeed. This message is positive! Unfortunately, we do not always have the time to listen to our emotions. Worse, we let ourselves be overwhelmed by their message without understanding it and we magnify the effect of certain emotions by feeding on negative thoughts.
比方說(shuō)，害怕說(shuō)明你即將遇到一些負面的東西。因此，當你害怕失敗時(shí)，恐懼實(shí)際上在暗示你一定要成功。這個(gè)信息是非常正面的。但是，實(shí)際上我們并沒(méi)有認真聆聽(tīng)我們的情緒。更糟糕的是我們總是因為沒(méi)有真正理解這個(gè)信息而被其搞得不知所措，而且由于過(guò)多的負面思想，我們放大了情緒所帶來(lái)的影響。
We must stress the importance of listening to our emotions and not the guesses as we often do: "I'm sad, it must be because of this lousy weather.”
必須強調的一點(diǎn)就是要聆聽(tīng)情緒，而不是我們通常的做法：只是猜測，比如“我很傷心，肯定是因為這討厭的天氣”。
Free Ourselves from Negative Emotions
擺脫負面情緒
A widespread view is the strong belief that we cannot cope with our emotions. Yet nothing is further from the truth. We are mainly responsible for our emotions, which arise, from our thoughts. Therefore, we have power over certain parts of our lives, which can be sometimes very unpleasant
我們所普遍接受的一個(gè)觀(guān)點(diǎn)是我們不可能控制情緒。但事實(shí)并非如此。我們的情緒是從思想中而來(lái)，那么我們就要為其負責了。因此，我們完全有能力控制生活中不好的一方面。
We often hide our weaknesses and our discomfort behind the justifications that prevent us from identifying the source of problems and resolve them. For example, some people justify their thoughts and negative attitudes by saying they are pessimistic. ‘It is the tree that hides the forest’. Their pessimism is perhaps the result of fear and anxiety they experience while facing what they cannot and do not control.
我們經(jīng)常以各種正當的理由來(lái)掩飾我們的軟弱和不適，這樣卻無(wú)法讓我們看清問(wèn)題本原，解決問(wèn)題。比如說(shuō)一些人認為他們的負面思想和態(tài)度是因為他們太悲觀(guān)了。這簡(jiǎn)直是一葉障目。他們的悲觀(guān)很可能是因為在面對無(wú)法控制的情況時(shí)的恐懼和焦慮所導致的。
Our negative emotions create a devastating impact on our lives, hence the importance of mastering them! This is also the case of emotional intelligence.
負面情緒對我們的生活有著(zhù)毀滅性的影響，因此掌控它們非常重要。這也是情商的一部分。
Some Examples of Messages from Your Emotions
情緒所傳達的信息
1. The discomfort usually tells you to change your status and plan on what to do to restore a good level of comfort.
1.不適表明你要轉換狀態(tài)，并要有計劃地恢復舒適的狀態(tài)。
2. Aggression against a person or a situation means that a rule or a value important to you has been violated. Emotion tells you to do what it takes to restore equilibrium.
2.對某人或某事產(chǎn)生敵對說(shuō)明你自身的原則或價(jià)值觀(guān)受到了侵犯。情緒告訴你要恢復平靜。
3. The disappointment means that your expectations are not met. You can change the way you view your expectations.
3.失望代表你的希望落空了。此時(shí)，你應該重新審視你的期望。
4. Guilt means that you have violated your own values and you have to do what it takes to recover.
4.內疚說(shuō)明你觸犯了自己的價(jià)值底線(xiàn)，你需要做些什么來(lái)恢復。
Cultivating Positive Emotions
培養積極情緒
You can enjoy your negative emotions for only one reason: they allow you to improve .Are you really able to work on yourself when things are going well? Once we agree to confront our negative emotions, we put ourselves in a good position to understand our difficulties. How to do it?
對于負面情緒，只有一個(gè)原因讓我們喜歡它：它們讓我們變得更好。那么當事態(tài)逐漸變好時(shí)，我們能夠從容應對嗎？一旦我們選擇面對負面情緒，我們就選擇了去理解現時(shí)的困難。那么接下來(lái)該怎么做呢？
1. Identify what happens. Any emotional discomfort means that you must change your state.
1.弄清楚現在的狀況。任何情緒上的不適都表明你必須要轉換狀態(tài)了。
2. Make a plan. Clarify your thoughts and attitudes about what you really want. Whatever you have and what does this mean? Clarifying what you feel over the situation will help you out.
2.制定詳細的計劃。要明白自己到底想要什么。你現在所擁有的到底意味著(zhù)什么？梳理一下你對事情的情緒有助于你脫離困境。
3.行動(dòng)。時(shí)刻注意你的負面思想。千萬(wàn)不要坐在那里說(shuō)什么“我不要這樣”，“我會(huì )害羞的”，“我沒(méi)那個(gè)能力”。你必須要采取行動(dòng)來(lái)改變整個(gè)事態(tài)。
3. Take action. Be aware of negative thoughts that you maintain in connection with the situation. Do not sit by saying "I reject the offer," "I'm shy," "I am incapable", etc. You must take an action to improve the situation!
Obviously, like all learning processes, mastery of your negative emotions requires effort. The good news? The more you practice, the more you enrich the understanding of your emotions!
顯然，就像學(xué)習一樣，對負面情緒的掌控也是需要付出努力的。但好消息是，你練習的越多，就越能加深對情緒的理解。
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