練習避開(kāi)這25種消極的肢體語(yǔ)言。
我說(shuō)兩種語(yǔ)言：肢體和英語(yǔ)——梅西
1. 在體前，握緊東西——一個(gè)咖啡杯，筆記本，手袋等。在體前握緊東西，暗示出羞怯和抵抗心理，以便于你能夠躲在物體之后，盡力使自己和他人保持一定距離。如果可以的話(huà)，不要把東西放在體前，而是放在身旁。
2. 查看時(shí)間或者是檢查自己的指甲——無(wú)聊的明確跡象。
當你在和其他人說(shuō)話(huà)的時(shí)候，不要看時(shí)間。同樣，也要完全避免查看自己的指甲。
3.如果你在談話(huà)期間，脫掉衣服，特別是在你該接話(huà)的時(shí)候，還看向下方，多數人會(huì )以為你不同意他們的意見(jiàn)或不知該如何他們一個(gè)中肯的意見(jiàn)。不要這樣。
4. 當看著(zhù)對方時(shí)，摸自己的下巴——“我在估量你”。在做決定的時(shí)候，人們常會(huì )摸自己的下巴。如果你一邊摸下巴一邊看著(zhù)對方，他們會(huì )認為你在估量他們。
5.瞇上眼睛——如果你想給人留下的印象是：你不喜歡他們或不喜歡他們的想法，那么就在看他們的時(shí)候，瞇上眼睛。愁容立刻浮現在你臉上。稍微瞇上眼是動(dòng)物王國里，所有動(dòng)物本能并通用的表情，（想想老虎，狗等憤怒的表情)。一些人在交談時(shí)錯誤地瞇上眼睛，然而事實(shí)上他們只是在思考。不要傳達給人錯誤的信息，不要瞇上眼睛。
6. 站得太近——這只會(huì )讓人感到不舒服。大多數人把自己身體周?chē)?平方英尺視為個(gè)人空間。只有與好朋友和親密伴侶時(shí)，可以跨越這個(gè)無(wú)形的邊界。
7.在其他人在場(chǎng)時(shí)，向下看——通常暗示了沒(méi)興趣。有時(shí)甚至被視為是不經(jīng)意的傲慢訊號。當看見(jiàn)認識人時(shí)，要向前看，有眼神交流。
8. 談話(huà)時(shí)，摸自己的臉——臉的碰觸，尤其是鼻子，最常被認為是欺騙的信息。蓋住自己的嘴，也是常見(jiàn)的人們說(shuō)謊時(shí)的訊號。說(shuō)話(huà)的時(shí)候，把手從臉上移開(kāi)。
9. 假笑——另一個(gè)常見(jiàn)的面部欺騙信息。一個(gè)真正的微笑，眼角會(huì )皺起，整張臉都會(huì )隨之變化。假笑只是嘴和唇動(dòng)。兩者很容易區別。除了拍照時(shí)，否則不要強迫自己去笑。
10. 對你喜歡的人，身體后傾——是一種厭倦和不感興趣的訊息。有些人也把它解釋為：“我不喜歡你”。人們通常對自己喜歡的人，身體前傾，遠離不喜歡的人。尤其是坐在同一個(gè)桌子的時(shí)候。如果你離自己喜歡的人遠的話(huà)，你就表錯了信息。
11.把手放在頭后或臀部——通常被解釋為有優(yōu)越感或大頭癥。只有對自己親密的朋友，才可以做這個(gè)動(dòng)作。
12.不正面與你說(shuō)話(huà)的人——這表明了不舒服或不感興趣。當我們熱衷于談話(huà)時(shí)，腳和身軀都會(huì )正面朝向對方。當對著(zhù)我們不感興趣的人和談話(huà)時(shí)，腳和身體會(huì )自動(dòng)轉向另一邊。談話(huà)時(shí)，正面對方，會(huì )給對方留下的印象是：你對他說(shuō)的話(huà)真的感興趣。
13.雙臂交叉——一種防范的訊號。有些人把它理解為是一種自負的表現。要把你的雙臂展開(kāi)或放在兩側。
14.顯示疲弱姿勢——當你在一個(gè)熙來(lái)人往的環(huán)境下，你的姿勢就會(huì )成為你留給人自信與鎮定的既定印象。你的站姿，表明你的立場(chǎng)，清楚地傳達了這個(gè)訊息，你應該受到怎樣的待遇。它可以發(fā)揮巨大的差異，在陌生人回應你的方式上。腳適度地岔開(kāi)，背挺直，頭朝上，打招呼時(shí)，要直視對方或堅定的握手。
15. 撓后腦和后頸——表示懷疑和不確定。也被看作是說(shuō)謊的訊號。當和其他人交談的時(shí)候，盡量讓手遠離頭部。
16. 揪衣領(lǐng)——表明：“我覺(jué)得很不舒服或緊張”再次，隨時(shí)握您的手中。不要擺弄你的衣領(lǐng)。
17.眨眼的頻率增加——明顯焦慮。有些人接話(huà)時(shí)，因緊張，隨著(zhù)心跳加快，眨眼的頻率也會(huì )增加。因為大多數人都會(huì )對視，這樣就會(huì )立刻被對方發(fā)現。當緊張的時(shí)候，尤其是有人近距離看你時(shí)，留意一下自己的眨眼。
18.耷拉肩膀——缺乏自信。超有自信的人會(huì )挺直肩膀。讓你的肩膀一直向挺直。你不僅會(huì )看上去有自信，也會(huì )感到有信心。
19.站立時(shí)，雙手交叉放在下體上——這個(gè)不經(jīng)意的動(dòng)作，一定會(huì )讓你在開(kāi)口說(shuō)話(huà)之前，就失去一部分的尊重。人們在緊張和不自信的時(shí)候，會(huì )情不自禁的做出防偽姿勢。他們通常會(huì )對自己最脆弱的地方，采取這種防偽姿勢。這種姿勢會(huì )讓你肩膀向前，會(huì )讓你整個(gè)身體顯得更渺小，更脆弱。再次提醒，把手放在身體側面或后面。#p#分頁(yè)標題#e#
20. 用手托著(zhù)自己的頭——“我已經(jīng)厭倦了” 交談時(shí)，不要用肘或手去托自己的頭。把手放在你前面的桌子上并讓它們休息。
21. 用你的汗手往衣服上蹭——一個(gè)極度緊張的訊息。如果你的手正出汗，就讓它出汗。深呼吸，盡力放松。
22. 坐在椅子的一邊——清楚的表明：精神和身體都不舒服。這是一個(gè)不安的姿勢，會(huì )讓周?chē)艘哺?zhù)你不安。讓你屁股安定地坐在椅子上。當你要向前傾時(shí)，用你的背向前即可，不要移動(dòng)自己的屁股。
23. 腳和手指輕敲——通常暗示出，有壓力，不耐煩或厭煩。留意自己的習慣，練習讓自己的四肢放松。
24. 用手擺弄小東西——一只筆，紙球等。又是一個(gè)焦慮的信號。也可以解釋為缺乏準備。當你和他人會(huì )面時(shí)，盡量把雙手自然放松。
25. 反復轉動(dòng)自己——也是一種精神和身體不舒服的表現。人們也許會(huì )認為，你不想再繼續這次談話(huà)，尤其是你還沒(méi)有直面他們。不要每2，3分鐘就轉動(dòng)自己的腳，頻率超過(guò)一次。
譯文：25 Acts of Body Language to Avoid
Our body language exhibits far more information about how we feel than it is possible to articulate verbally. All of the physical gestures we make are subconsciously interpreted by others. This can work for or against us depending on the kind of body language we use. Some gestures project a very , while others do nothing but set a negative tone.
Most people are totally oblivious to their own body language, so the discipline of controlling these gestures can be quite challenging. Most of them are reflexive in nature, automatically matching up to what our minds are thinking at any given moment. Nevertheless, with the right information and a little practice, we can train ourselves to overcome most of our negative body language habits.
Practice avoiding these 25 negative gestures:
I speak two languages, Body and English.
- Mae West
1. Holding Objects in Front of Your Body – a coffee cup, notebook, hand bag, etc. Holding
objects in front of your body indicates shyness and resistance, such that you’re hiding
behind the objects in an effort to separate yourself from others. Instead of carrying objects in front of you, carry them at your side whenever possible.
2. Checking the Time or Inspecting Your Fingernails – a strong sign of boredom. Never
glance at the time when you’re speaking with someone. Likewise, completely avoid the act of inspecting your fingernails.
3. Picking Lint Off of Your Clothes – If you pick lint off of your clothes during a
conversation, especially in conjunction with looking downwards, most people will
assume that you disapprove of their ideas and/or feel uneasy about giving them an honest opinion. Leave the lint alone!
4. Stroking Your Chin While Looking at Someone – “I’m judging you!” People frequently
stroke their chin during the decision-making process. If you look at someone while you’re stroking your chin, they may assume that you’re making a judgmental decision about them.
5. Narrowing Your Eyes – If you want to give someone the impression that you don’t like
them (or their ideas), narrow your eyes while looking at them. It immediately places a scowling expression on your face. A slight narrowing of the eyes is an instinctual,
universal expression of anger across various species in the animal kingdom (think about the angry expressions of tigers, dogs, etc.). Some people make the mistake of narrowing their eyes during a conversation as a reflex of thinking. Don’t send people the wrong message… don’t narrow your eyes.
6. Standing Too Close – This just makes people feel uncomfortable. Most people consider
the 4 square feet of space immediately surrounding their body to be personal space. Cross this invisible boundary with good friends and intimate mates only.
7. Looking Down While in the Presence of Others – usually indicates disinterest. Sometimes
it’s even interpreted as a casual sign of arrogance. Always look straight ahead and make eye contact when you see someone you know.
8. Touching Your Face During a Conversation – Face touching, especially on the nose, is
commonly interpreted as an indication of deception. Also, covering up the mouth is a common gesture people make when they’re . Always keep your hands away from your face when you’re speaking.
9. Faking a Smile – another sign of deception commonly seen on the face of a fraud. A
genuine smile wrinkles the corners of the eyes and changes the expression of the entire face. Fake smiles only involve the mouth and lips. It’s easy to distinguish between the two. Don’t force yourself to smile… unless it’s for the .
10. Leaning Away From Someone You Like – a sign of being bored and disinterested. Some
people may also interpret it to mean: “I don’t like you.” People typically lean towards people they like and away from people they dislike. This is especially true when they are
sitting around a table. If you lean away from someone you like, you’re sending them the wrong message.
11. Resting Hands Behind the Head or on the Hips – usually interpreted as a sign of
superiority or bigheadedness. Only use these gestures when you’re in the presence of close friends.
12. Not Directly Facing the Person You’re Speaking To – This indicates a certain level of
discomfort or a lack of interest. When we’re happily engaged in a conversation we face the person we’re speaking to with our feet and torso facing directly forward. When we’re unsure of the other person, or not completely committed to the conversation, we tend to angle our feet and torso to the side. Face directly forward during a conversation to give off the impression that you’re truly interested in what the other person is saying.
13. Crossing Your Arms – a sign of defensive resistance. Some people may also interpret it as
a sign of egotism. Always try to keep your arms open and at your sides.
14. Displaying a Sluggish Posture – When you’re in an environment bustling with people
your becomes an immediate telltale sign of your confidence and composure. Your stance literally makes a stand for you, delivering a clear message about how you should be
treated. It can make a huge difference in the way strangers respond to you. Place your feet a comfortable distance apart, keep your shoulders pulled back, head up and greet people with direct eye contact and a firm handshake.
15. Scratching at the Backside of Your Head and Neck – a typical sign of doubt and
uncertainty. It can also be interpreted as an indication of lying. Try to keep your hands away from your head when you’re communicating with others.
16. Messing With the Collar of Your Shirt – It screams: “I feel horribly uncomfortable and/or
nervous!” Once again, keep track of your hands. Don’t fidget.
17. Increasing Your Rate of Blinking – a clear sign of anxiety. Some people start blinking
their eyes really fast (in conjunction with an increased heart rate) when they get nervous. Since most people try to make eye contact, it becomes immediately obvious to others. Be cognizant of your blinking habits when you’re nervous, especially if someone is looking at you from a close proximity.
18. Slouching Your Shoulders – indicates low self-esteem. People associate perked-up
shoulders with strong self-confidence. Always pull your shoulders back. Not only will you look more confident, you’ll feel more confident as well.
19. Standing with Your Hands Crossed Over Your Genitals – This casual posture almost
guarantees that you’ll lose a little respect before you even have the chance to speak a single word. People feeling nervous or unsure of themselves will unconsciously take a
guarded stance. Quite frequently they adopt a posture that guards one of their most vulnerable areas, their genitals. This stance pushes your shoulders forward and makes your entire body look smaller and weaker. Again, try to keep your hands at your sides and your shoulders back.
20. Propping Up Your Head with Your Hands – “I’m getting bored!” Never prop up your
head with your elbows and hands during a conversation. Place your hands on the table in front of you and keep them at rest.
21. Wiping Sweaty Hands onto Your Clothes – a sign of frantic nervousness. If your hands
are sweating, just let them sweat. Take a few deep breaths and try to relax.
22. Sitting on the Edge of Your Chair – a clear indication of being mentally and physically
uncomfortable. It’s an apprehensive stance that will make others around you feel
uncomfortable as well. Keep your rear end firmly planted on the surface of the seat. When you lean forward, use your back without moving your bottom.
23. Foot and Finger Tapping – usually indicates stress, impatience or boredom. Monitor your
habits and practice keeping your limbs at rest.
24. Using Your Hands to Fidget with Small Objects – a pen, paper ball, etc. This is another
sign of anxiety. It can also be interpreted as a lack of preparedness. It’s always best to keep your hands comfortably at rest when you’re in the presence of others.
25. Repeatedly Shifting Body Weight from Foot to Foot – This is another gesture that usually
indicates mental and physical discomfort. People may also see this and assume that you’re ready to abandon the conversation, especially if you’re not directly facing them. Don’t shift your feet around more than once every 2 to 3 minutes.
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